dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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