before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
True strength comes from lack of pants
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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