dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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