You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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