Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
