watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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