fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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