so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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