it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Ketchup is God's man juice
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
