all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
