PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
