No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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