dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
home. puking in laundry basket.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
