Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
