Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
