youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
