i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
