You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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