The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
