hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
