she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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