just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
