Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
