apparently the secret to your success is patron
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
