Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
