So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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