His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
