The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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