I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Everclear isn't food dammit
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
