based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
