we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
