I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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