Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
