Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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