yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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