I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
