Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
