I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
