My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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