This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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