They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
