I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Terrible idea I love it
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
