A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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