Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
