I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Randomize
