You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
