If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she told me i tasted like america
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
