Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she told me i tasted like america
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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