tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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