I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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