you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
