I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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