oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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